The story continues…
I wanted to bring some news about my article : my soulmate, a story of souls because my story did not end. In the end, we were able to maintain the link and through our exchanges, we are for each other “twin flames”.
But what is a “twin flame” ? I tell you this story in the hope that it will enlighten others who are going through this overwhelming and disturbing experience.
Why twin flame ?
Esoterically speaking, twin flames are the same born soul that would have split into two. The other is therefore the soul twin because this one has the other part of the soul, of the energy. This makes me think of two souls from the same egg.
We like to say that because we have the same nose, the same smile, the same hands! So it’s kind of like he’s a male version of me and I’m a female version of him, while he’s a westerner and I’m an Asian. And when my twin flame showed me pictures of him as a child, when I was about 9 years old, we had the same facial features, an air of twinship. It’s really amazing !
Personality-wise, we have a lot in common. We share the same mental and imaginary universe. We have the same behavior, the same little quirks and the same little lines. I found that he has his “Princess” side like me. We share the same values that we each explore in different ways. He is also totally different from me but at the same time complementary, which made me think immediately of the Yin and Yang emblem.
Because of this, he represents many things to me, he is at times my childhood friend, my girlfriend, my confidant, my best friend, etc. So I found that the words soul twin and twin flame are the right words to define the other. He is naturally important and precious to me.
A presence inside me
This closeness and similarity means that we have a kind of emotional connection.
- It’s like a part of his soul is visiting me or spending time inside me. I either think about him consciously or he’s there somewhere in my unconscious.
I especially realized during our breakup that I would never be able to completely forget him or cut that connection. That’s why I call it a soul connection, like a divine twin, in the sense that he will always be a part of me whether I want him or not.
- In his presence, I feel full, I am in wholeness.
- So be convinced that the other loves you and will never forget you even if he is far from you because your twin flame lives in you. It is an evidence.
An unconditional love
A story of energy
We were both in a relationship and our relationship had been purely platonic. I have always had beautiful friendships with men but with him it was very different because I felt I had known him since my childhood. Then as the days went by, there was this tenderness of our childlike hearts that had slowly settled into our relationship with the desire to cuddle with tender gestures. When I snuggled in his arms for the first time, I felt so good, as if I had found my place. I immediately felt an energy of love envelop me, it was warm, soothing and so full of love. I felt all its power deep inside me, a happiness mixed with a certain deliverance. I started to cry because it was so intense! It was as if he was the key to connect me to my natural inheritance : the unconditional love that I carried within me from birth. I felt in my heart, in my soul this love without condition or judgment.
Following this surge of tenderness through that first hug, our minds became aware that we love each other not just as childhood friends but as two lovers of a first love! This is crazy ! It’s not a love affair, passionate, romantic or sexual because we didn’t fall in love with each other. We already love each other because our souls recognized each other before we even realized it. It is a matter of energetic attraction and it does not pass by our mental. I am attracted to him like a magnet no matter what his origins, his religion, his profession, his physical appearance etc. It is really a matter of energy.
The revelation of our wounds
This is where the complications arose because how do I deal with the fact that he is my first love ? For him too he feels that I am his first love. The confinement cleaned up my life by giving me the opportunity to be honest with myself by breaking up with Teddy. As for my twin flame, he made it clear that he will never leave his partner despite the love he has for me. I suffered at the idea of falling into a polyamorous story or by ending up being his mistress not to lose him. This situation awakened my past trauma of triolism experienced with my first husband. My fears of the past have resurfaced in power miles while my twin flame is not my ex-husband! And yet I felt betrayed and rejected.
I realized that I had become very emotional during the viewings. I had been watching an anime with great graphics. I found it so beautiful and breathtaking as if for the first time I was aware of this beauty, of all this co-creation of the authors to make this anime. It moved me so much that I burst into tears! It exhausted me. Then another time, I watched the Korean drama “Crash on Landing on you”, I felt the emotions of the characters reminding me my feelings towards my twin flame. I broke down in tears so many times. So I was an emotional sponge where I could feel every emotion in a thousand power! It was so intense that I temporarily stopped the viewings because I was emotionally tired and broken !
I thought I could handle this powerful spiral of emotions on my own (out of habit). I strongly recommend that you get professional help. See who you want but don’t stay alone because you can’t do it ! For my part I chose to consult a messenger of the soul asking me to respect myself and to ask for the best in my life! He came up with this battle plan : love yourself, respect yourself, grow, mature and love. So it’s a reminder… to focus on yourself ! So to protect myself, breaking up with my twin flame was the only solution.
I experienced this breakup as a horrible injustice. I felt betrayed, rejected and abandoned while my soul cried out in love for him. I had to mourn this first love and accept this nonsense ! It was a struggle with my ego not to devalue myself : I am not good enough, I am not this and that… I cried constantly ! I lived very badly this separation which seemed to me to last an eternity. Moreover I had the impression to lose a part of me. I don’t know how to explain this painful feeling of a deep loss of a loved one…
Hand in hand
A month has passed… my twin flame left me some beautiful quotes from Jean Giono on my Facebook page that made me remember our Kingdom of Tenderness. So out of weakness, I let her come to me because it is so good to recharge in our kingdom where fears seem to be non-existent.
On May 26, 2019 (yes it’s still a 26 !) I had a crying fit that lasted all night. My twin flame tried to reassure me from a distance without much success. The next day, I was devastated with blistered eyes (I advise you to apply cornflower water on it, it relieves well!). He called me to suggest that we take a break, that we get together physically. Just to be together under the trees, under the blue sky, thinking of nothing else, just to be in the present, just to be there. Knowing that the other is there. And that did us both good. And since then, we have promised each other to always be there for the other. Each in his own way. Together, we are stronger !
I read that many people don’t hear from their twin flame for years. Oh, then I felt more fortunate about my situation. So I am filled with gratitude every day. We decided to help each other to heal our wounds. I help him with his inner journeys and he helps me with my outer journeys.
Of course, it is not because we can see each other that everything is fine ! On the contrary, this is the building site, this is where our work on ourselves must begin. There is always the beauty of our connection but it is put under a bell because of the mirror effect. When we look at the other person, it sends us back to our own fears and makes us constantly remind ourselves of what we don’t want to see. If I pretend not to see my wounds, I hurt myself. And when he says harsh words to me, it hurts me. And when I see him adrift, I feel bad because I am powerless and this arouses unpleasant emotions in me. In addition, synchronicities come into play to bring me back to our link each time I wanted to give up ! So it was an intense emotional roller coaster ride that I went through even though during my 100 day challenge, I had started to plant the seeds to heal my emotional wounds. I began to stabilize my emotions but had to continue but letting go. There were still difficult moments when I wanted to break up at the beginning of 2021 but he knew how to reassure me about this first love. He was always whole and respectful towards me, towards him, towards this first love. This allowed me to be totally in agreement with myself. This is how we succeeded in having our past selves join (like a fusion) our present selves. With this blockage removed, I could better move forward in my life by accepting my twin flame fully in the present, for what it is.
This bond is a chance because it forces me to heal all my wounds especially those that we think will forever be silenced until our grave. If I bury my head in the sand, immediately my body reacts and feels bad because of the power of the emotions I was feeling. It was impossible for me to live with these aches and pains in the presence of my daughters.
How to overcome all this !
So I give you a few tips to appease this ego :
- Don’t make films about the reunion with your twin flame. Don’t wait for it ! When I am waiting, I have found myself hearing harsh words that have broken my heart. My twin always reminds me of his connection with his partner and wants me to find a life partner. So respect his inner life with his choices as well as the love he has for his partner. Live your life. The love you have for him, give it to yourself. Enjoy yourself without thinking about the results, simply remain the captain of your ship !
- You must take steps to heal your emotional wounds, otherwise you will accumulate more suffering! Get help from a professional. I strongly insist on this ! Face your fears, protect your inner child, fight and don’t let go ! This will take a lot of time so be tolerant and patient with yourself. And be proud of yourself, of your small steps!
- Do not try to understand your twin flame’s attitude. I tried to understand him and his relationship in his couple, and it did me more harm than good ! Don’t try to understand him because even if he is your soul twin, he is different from you because he is a whole soul, independent from you, he has his free will and his way of loving ! Instead, show compassion, empathy and tolerance because he has wounds to heal just like you! You have the same trials. Just be there for each other like twins.
- Have faith in life even though it is very difficult. This is the most important point because you can’t control everything and you have to let life happen. You have to learn to let go ! Love yourself, focus on yourself. Trust yourself !
I admit that this is not easy because you know that fears come from the ego because it prefers to live in situations that it has known for years even if it hurts. We are accustomed to hiding our faces and living in our comfort zone rather than going towards what could elevate us and make us feel good. Because the unknown is scary! But if you are honest with yourself, have courage and patience. You will feel the benefits. For my part it took me 9 months to start feeling good !
What is the purpose of this twin flame journey ?
Find your own key !
My meeting with my twin flame was a key to make me see the existence of this unconditional love. This love is so powerful that I had the impression that everything was possible, that I was carried by life, that I could achieve anything in my life! Passionate and always in search of true Love, I face my fears to be able to access again this aura of unconditional love.
I am looking for my own key to access this treasure which is none other than my deepest self in its full authenticity without the other.
The great energy cleansing
The answer is obvious, this journey forces us to heal our past wounds so that we no longer unconsciously repeat our harmful behavioral patterns. For example, my first past trauma was healed through this feeling of first love with my twin flame. I was sexually abused as a child. (I know, I’m going to surprise a lot of people including me first with this announcement!). I thought it was “nothing” because I knew how to silence it within me but unconsciously this nothing had totally skewed my relationship with my body, touch and sexuality. I clearly saw my healing as if I was watching this wall break down little by little and then shatter! It was beautiful to see and I felt reborn, a feeling of deliverance as if I was recovering a part of who I really am.
Now for the other walls of fear, it is up to me to break them down myself in a conscious but mostly unconscious way. It is therefore an initiatory journey that aims to make a great energetic cleaning in all our boxes of our life (sentimental, family, professional, friends etc). This is how we can discover who we are deep down without lying. It is to find our completeness without the other.
Reawaken your love potential
I realized that the priority has always been me ! This has not changed and it doesn’t matter if I met my twin flame or not because I have always made sure to have a good relationship with myself. If you don’t believe in this Great Whole, this twin flame link will make you believe in this notion of soul and spirituality. Because it is above all a love story with your soul, a bridge that leads from your soul to the Universe. It is an obvious as the revelation of unhealed wounds that you think to silence it forever. You cannot escape it !
So I see this twin flame journey as a mega shortcut or crash course in revealing our potential self love.
The door to change can only be opened from the inside, everyone holds the key.Jacques Salomé
This journey has confirmed to me with certainty that no matter if you are in this twin flame journey or not, life always invites us to have a good relationship with ourselves, to love ourselves ! This is the purpose of our life, it is to reveal to the world the treasure that we are ! This journey serves to raise our highest vibration of love for the good of humanity.
Our lovely tale…
When we broke up in April 2019, we agreed to tell each of our side this story of childhood (he by writing and I by drawing) of this first love that comes from far away in order to honor this meeting that exceeds us ! And then it was the reunion, we started to realize it together. This brings us joy and makes us feel good as if we were going back in time. It is a way of remembering this “lost” or “forgotten” time. I have named it our timeless love story : Our Kingdom of Tenderness. I invite you to discover our beautiful tale written by my twin flame.
I would be delighted but especially curious to read your unique story of twin flame so I would feel less alone in front of this experience which fell on me !
To not feel alone…
David Sabat, Medium
There are many subjects talking about twin flames but guided by a happy chance, I quickly found the right person. It is David Sabat, medium “I am not alone in my head”. I like very much his youtube videos which helped me a lot to understand what is the path of the twin flames and which strongly agree with my feelings. These other subjects (other than twin flames) have strongly interested me because I am interested in mediumship, guided meditation and lithotherapy.
I bought his twin flame oracle cards and I had a huge crush. The drawings of Celine Ananian, the texts, the messages… everything is very beautiful. The prints are very interesting and it made me want to discover other oracle cards.
I chose David Sabat as my mentor because his universe speaks to me a lot and he is inspiring me because he always reminds us to choose ourselves by love in the light, always give us priority.
Céline Trochu-Leboeuf, holistic therapist
I invite you to listen to these Twin Flames podcasts which are very interesting.
I had the opportunity to use her professionalism and I really enjoyed the session, it was a beautiful experience. What delighted me the most is what emanates from her person: a joyful heart, smiling, benevolent and full of goodness ! Thanks to her words and advice, she made me want to believe in my creative potential! Thank you Céline ! Here is her Facebook page – her youtube channel
Franch’s twin flame chronicles
There are Fanch’s twin flame columns that I also like a lot. These columns made me laugh a lot, I like his writing style! https://www.facebook.com/chroniquesflammejumelle/
What I am going through right now…
March 26, 2021 : I was at the end of this relationship, emotionally exhausted. I followed my intuition because my twin flame’s words and actions did not suit me at all. The mirror effect made me understand that I am not respecting myself. To protect myself I asked for a definitive break and not a break.
April 7, 2021 : Finally I realized that I didn’t want to cut ties, I really didn’t, it went against my real needs. On the contrary, this break has awakened some family wounds (that I have to work on). I have learned in the last few days that I am going through the “energy switch”. It is a necessary and salutary time that I must allow myself to take care of myself. To come back to myself and nourish myself energetically.
May 10, 2021 : At the end of this relationship with the war of the egos. It is the separation of the twin flames.
You can read the testimony of my flame Gregory (runner) here.
The balance of my journey to the final separation, in three parts.