Be the captain of your life

Life is an adventure

I really like this word “captain”, being the captain of your life, of your ship! I explained on my home page my journey and the reasons why I created this site “Treasures of Life”. Life is a wonderful adventure: navigating and discovering treasure maps and nuggets of happiness with the backdrop of loving yourself fully to be proud of your Personal History.

I also mentioned my three main guidelines, those which are the foundations of my personality and which have allowed me to remain positive and to overcome difficulties: keep your child’s soul, keep your smile and cultivate gratitude. I hadn’t written an article on “being the captain of your life” because I still felt hesitant, I was observing, I was experimenting with my way of being and sailing. on my ship, in particular by reading the articles on Mathieu Vénisse’s site penser-et-agir.fr. Those who know me know how much I love acting. For me this is the key to life: in short you have to get off your ass and set goals to feel good.

During confinement, I understood the importance of being the captain of your ship, more than ever! I knew what I wanted, what I wanted to experience in my life! I didn’t see Nounours’ life plans at all, so how could he really get involved in couple projects if individually he had trouble setting goals and sticking to them? This is why little by little over the last few months a feeling of insecurity has taken hold within me, thus dragging my unhappiness to the point of emotional exhaustion.

Joint projects are vital!

Last summer, I thought Nounours understood what I expected of him and he seemed ready to commit and he was confident. But very quickly I became disenchanted, I excused him by blaming it on the fact that he was very busy with his associative commitments and his lack of time. For his part, he blamed my negative emotions which are harmful to commitment… I saw him living alone in his corner like a co-tenant or a student. Two personal stories that coexist together but without common life projects to really build something together!

I realized that in a couple, joint projects are very important, without which the couple does not last. Our plans for the future did not agree at all, although we loved each other, without a plan together, our life together had little meaning other than the desire to be with someone face to face to the fear of living alone.

There is nothing more beautiful than the dreams of others coming into harmony with yours, that your aspirations agree without putting aside the person that you are, that you have this desire to share them with the other. It’s so beautiful to share small and big dreams hand in hand with your love.

Be an actor in your life

Following this disappointment, I decided to put all my attention on the relationship I had with myself and to start planning my dreams. I deserve happiness so I decided to live for me without worrying about Teddy, I didn’t want to be restricted by, nor worry about the way he lets himself be carried by the waves. Things have gone very quickly since the start of the school year last September, I was so motivated that I signed up for quite a few individual activities that I had wanted to do for a long time. I had set new goals for myself, I wanted to devote myself fully to my new friends!

I rediscovered the joys of friendship and it had a big impact on my daily life, especially with meeting my soul mate with whom I spent a lot of time, I simply followed my desires! I felt alive again and I forgot the mental burden that was suffocating me at home. That’s why I didn’t hesitate to make the most of it. It had become vital for me, even visceral!

Love is not enough

I thought for a moment that Nounours and I could continue our story, but each at home. I wanted Nounours to be a good captain, to build himself up… The opportunity presented itself when Nounours found work in another city, this distance did us a lot of good. He began to realize himself and have new habits. But the confinement of March 16 forced us to return him to his home. And then nothing worked. The confinement got the better of our couple and put an end to the adventures of Nounours and Princess Petit Pois! I could no longer stand our daily life, everything was suffocating, oppressive like a burden too heavy to bear.

One of my best friends told me that maybe I didn’t like Nounours enough? I realized that that is not the question, love is not enough! He and I gave each other all our love, but that didn’t allow us to move forward. If the other person is a little lost and doesn’t have this solid structure as an individual, they will never be able to make me happy! I didn’t see him making progress on this point, so why waste my energy? We might as well interrupt our story there.

It’s the couple’s projects that make the couple last and not just the love. The couple also needs to grow, not just individually. It is therefore very important before committing to a relationship, to achieve oneself, to love oneself fully and to have one’s own goals.

To conclude…

Everything has become simpler and clearer, obvious, like these two sentences from the poem “Invictus”:

I am the master of my destiny.
I am the captain of my soul !

Thanks to my fusional experience with my soul mate, I realized that it is important to be in harmony with your mind to be able to act, understand, learn from life, it is important to move forward but you also have to listen his soul, this part of us so secret and intimate, essential to our desire to be! Our soul is our breath of life!

So when I really listen to my soul (my heart), the things that make me vibrate, I know what I want deep down, what I aspire to, I know that I feel all the happiness that I can have. So to obtain it, you have to ACT and decide in full consciousness!

You just have to follow your compass which is none other than your soul, your heart. I decided to be the captain of my soul because it is important to be true to who I am with my personal values.
My desire is to live for myself and my daughters while waiting to be able to meet my prince charming with whom I will experience true love intensely!

“And not, when old age comes, discover that I had not lived”

Movie “The circle of missing poems” (1989)

I was going into the woods
Because I wanted to live without haste
Live, intensely,
And suck all the marrow out of life
To rout everything that was not life
So as not to discover, at the hour of my death
That I had not lived

Poem from the book “The Circle of Vanished Poets” by N. H. Kleinbaum

To remember

• Your course: this is your main life goal, what you want to achieve.
• Your compass: identify your personal values, it will help you stay on course.
• Your destination: take small actions (be motivated! Down with procratinization!)
• Direct your sails: have a positive state of mind and be attentive around you to experience synchronicities.
• You are Captain: take control and responsibility for your life. You know your strengths and weaknesses. Get out of your comfort zone!
• Your beautiful crew: surround yourself with good people (at least 5 who can be counted on the fingers of one hand) and run away from toxic people.
• Keep the smile ! And live in the moment!

And you ? Where are you in your journey? Are you the captain of your life or are you subject to it? Remember that your life is a great adventure, it’s up to you to decide how you want to live your life.

Gratitudes

• Thanks to my brother and sister for making me understand what I am and my principles.
• Thanks to my letter writing friend for always reminding me that my decisions are always good because I act for my own good!
• Thank you to my “darling” friend for encouraging me to live for myself and being my safety net.
• Thank you to my soulmate for revealing my potential for love that I had buried inside me since my childhood. I felt deep in my being, all the beauty of this Love in me that I could have but also give to the loved one and make it fall in a rain of love! It is so beautiful.
• Thank you Nounours for being our Nounours after the breakup.
• Thank you to all my friends who can be counted on my fingers.

Thank you all for your sincere and kind words.